Darling Bao Bao, my precious Boogie,
I wanted to write you this letter before your baby sister came. But, like you, she couldn’t wait to join our family, and she came a month earlier than we expected.
Your daddy and I felt so lucky to have that extra month together with you. We got to watch you develop in ways most people don’t get to experience. We got to see your eyelashes grow on your eyelids. We got to watch your hair grow into its full hairline. We got to see your early baby fur disappear. We got to teach you how to nurse when you were too small to do it on your own. We got to learn about you – your likes, your sounds, your smells, your personality – extra early. We got an extra month to hold you and love you. We treasured that time as we’ve treasured every second since you came into our lives.
We feel the same way about your baby sister. The three of us – you, me, your daddy – will learn about her and care for her. Like you, she is an angel sent to us from heaven. We are now a beautiful family of four.
Just two weeks ago, we were a beautiful family of three. I wanted to take a moment to honor the special dynamic we shared. Because it was perfect.
In many ways, you were our sun. You were the brightest star of our family. Daddy and I – and everyone that came near you – revolved around you. You brought us life and light. You were joy and laughter. You gave our lives greater meaning. You taught me what it really means to love.
I love our routines and our little silly jokes. I love watching you dance. I love dancing with you. I love your obsession with basketball and how you always want me to play with you or cheer, “Go Boogie, go Boogie, go!” while you run, dribble and shoot. I love the way your face lights up with your big smile when you come home to me after day care. I love how you run into my arms. I love how you want me to kiss your owies. I love reading together at night. I love how you have every book memorized – even books with words like “loquacious” and “pie chart.” I love when you surprise me by using big words I didn’t know you knew. I love how you look into my eyes and speak so earnestly about things that are important to you…like ding-dings and trains and airplanes. I love when we talk after a time out. I love that you get worried for me when I’m sad or in pain. I love that you give me back massages when my back hurts. I love watching you play with your LEGOS and seeing the brilliant way your mind works. I love how you help me do the laundry and wipe down the counters. I love playing together in the shower and singing together while we dry off. I love watching you play with your dad, listening to you copy his beat boxing. I love hearing the funny songs he makes up for you – especially when he changes your diaper. I love hearing you laugh hysterically – with daddy, with me, with anyone. I love how happy you get when our family does things, “all together” as you like to say. I love how much you love others.
I could go on forever. Suffice to say, I love you and everything about you. This will never change. I loved our little three-person family. Before Aila Baby came, I felt sad thinking how things might change.
You are still our sun. Now that we have Aila, we have two suns in our family. Two bright, yet different, stars of light, warmth, love, life. We are becoming a family of constellations. It is such a blessing. But, even when change is good, it is often hard. Change means we let go of something and welcome something new.
I have been reluctant to let go of our three-person family. I’ve been nervous about how our family will change. I’ve worried about how it will affect you. My biggest fear is losing the closeness we share. I know that growing our family is God’s will. It is mine too. I know that Aila will be – and is already! – a blessing to us all. She makes our family more whole.
But, I imagine at first, sharing the sky with another star will be challenging. It might feel like only one of us revolves around you at any given time. Sometimes, it might feel like your dad and I aren’t revolving around you at all. You will have to share us, share everything, and learn to feel and give love in new ways.
Sharing the sky with Baby will help you both shine brighter. It will help us all glow more. We will all become better people – more capable of giving, learning and loving like Christ.
Just remember always that before you were born, Daddy gave me a blessing. In this blessing, Heavenly Father told me that He was sending me an angel. That’s you. I might not be able to hold you or play with you or talk with you as much as we both would like, but I love you more than ever. You are and always will be my angel. I love being your mama.
Here’s a fond farewell to our family of three. And, in the same breath, here is a warm welcome to our family of four. I’m excited to create and grow and love together. We are going to redefine perfect together. Truly, we are laying the foundation of a great work: family, our heaven on earth.
Love, your Mama
*Many many thanks to Kimberly Cheung Wright for these beautiful family photographs!